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Saturday, October 16th, 2004

Subject:This is grrreeeat :)
Time:1:09 pm.
Mood: LAZZZZZZZY.

What celebrity will you marry?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
You will marry Kurt Cobain
In An elevator
Will you bang that night? HECK YES!
This Quiz by afi_punk2007 - Taken 69 Times.
</a>
New - COOL Dating Tips and Romance Advice!



And if I use my real name:



What celebrity will you marry?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
You will marry Kurt Cobain
In A submarine
Will you bang that night? yea
This QuickKwiz by afi_punk2007 - Taken 71 Times.
</a>
New - Dating Advice written by YOU!



Lovely. :)
1 tell me to kill - voices in my head.

Wednesday, July 14th, 2004

Subject:Useless Crap
Time:3:09 pm.
Attention all morons! Oh, good...the large font did get your attention didn't it? Please take a look at Exhibit A:



Well...did you look? This is what happens to idiots, who like to bully other people to make themselves feel better. I have no intention of "bullying" back to this piece of ingrate or ... *gasp* even "stooping to his level." I'm just irritated. And I'm bored and thought this would be a great entry for today. First of all...the picture above is of Some 21-year old guy from the UK has the brain capacity of that of a 12-year old. Why do I dislike this piece of shit? Well, he likes to put lots of people down and taunt at them with useless shit to drive them insane. It works because I've seen the people he has "bullied." They fire back, when they really shouldn't. Girls and boys...just ignore the idiot. And to you, who calls yourself Bahn...get a life already. Why must you treat people like shit to be happy? Grow the fuck up and get rid of that stick you have so far up your ass. Oh, and the whole: "I hate Everyone" shit is O L D.
7 tell me to kill - voices in my head.

Wednesday, September 24th, 2003

Time:9:45 pm.
Yeah, ok so I updated this a tid bit from passed entries. Look:

09-13-03

Yeah, nothing else interesting right now. I'm pissed. I wanna break something. I think I'm done now...
voices in my head.

Tuesday, September 23rd, 2003

Subject:Too Much S-H-I-T
Time:1:53 am.
Mood: bitchy.
I cannot wait until I move out of this apartment. Living with Jeremy is driving me INSANE. All we do now is argue, argue...and well, ARGUE all the fucking time. Sure, it's all Fran's fault that there's this paranoia coming into affect, but seriously...isn't that all in the, well, ummm, PAST? Whatever. This shit isn't even worth it. It's not worth screaming about anymore. Tonight, I screamed. I don't normally scream; just argue...loudly. But tonight, I screamed. My God, I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. Tim and Jeff are probably annoyed. At this point, I just want to leave. I think EVERYONE (everyone = Tim, Jeff, and Jeremy) will be happy once I get my ass out of here. Who needs a girl living in a pad of three guys anyway? HMMPH. Honestly!!! Sometimes, I , myself get paranoid that no one wants Fran around. I mean...I'm a girl for fuck's sake. I've had enough of the screaming, crying, and the pulling of my hair. My head hurts right now. I just want to scream and let it ALL out. But I can't. Now, I feel like kicking something in...or chopping off some balls. Ya know...testicles? The human penis perhaps. Yeah, that would make me fell a whole lot better right now. Right now, I feel like fucking shit. Absolute fucking shit. I have no idea what to do anymore; I have no idea who to run to anymore. Jeremy acts like I'm doing the same shit I pulled in the past. Where IN THE HELL DOES HE GET THESE IDEAS FROM? I feel like I'm being watched sometimes. Sometimse, it feels like someone is keeping a close eye on me, just to make sure Fran doesn't do anything stupid. Ya know what's fucking heeee-larious? FRAN HAS NOT DONE ANYTHING STUPID. Maybe I should just FUCKING change my FUCKING name and FUCKING leave another FUCKING city and FUCKING find somewhere to move to, where no one can FUCKING be my FUCKING friend. And with that being said, there would be no FUCKING involved but simply just Fran...all alone by her FUCKING self. FUCK FUCK FUCK. FUCKETY FUCKING FUCK SHIT FUCK. I am so mad right now. I could seriously jump out the FUCKING window and not give a flying FUCK anymore. I have reached my end.

Fuck this shit. Fuck not being trusted. Fuck not being able to do anthing anymore...

Fuck life. I need a cigarette
2 tell me to kill - voices in my head.

Monday, September 15th, 2003

Subject::-/
Time:9:19 pm.
Mood: depressed.
Today feels really shitty. I don't why either. I mean, it can't be the weather. I mean, fuck...the weather is fucking great. Why do I feel like this? :-/
voices in my head.

Saturday, September 13th, 2003

Subject:GRRRR
Time:11:02 pm.
Mood: bitchy.
I hate attention whores. I, being an attention whore myself, do not do it in such a way that is so obnoxcious. For instance -- on the bus ride to work today, it just took one second after having sat down that I heard an annoying cackling noise. It echoed from the back of the bus. I turned to discover some chick and her boyfriend...he being quiet and she incredibly irritating. Poor guy. I dismissed her first attempt to attract attention and waited patiently to get to my stop. And my God, did this bus ride feel like an eternity. More cackling...followed by some outrageous 'girlie' screams and even more herendous giggling. Shut-up, bitch, nobody fucking cares. Put a can in it already! I addition to my annoyances, some Mexican chick (yeah, remember what I said about that?), who sat across from me, blatantly stared at me. What? Do I not notice your eyes wandering in my direction? God, staring turned into observing -- so it seemed -- of my attire (hey, I can't help it if I have to dress this way for work). Eyes went to my blouse. At that point, I wasn't sure if she was admiring my chest or just loving my blouse. To top things off, I caught her staring at me...and all she did was stare back. There I am on the bus ride of eternity, staring eye to eye with some bitch, who just can't take her eyes off of me for some ungodly reason. People are stupid. She should have taken a picture for fuck's sake. God, why are people so God damn annoying!!! *breathes*

Ok, so I went to work today. userinfoBradley filled in for Sean, so I was really happy about that. Bradley fucking rocks. I've never closed with him before, so I knew that this would be an interesting night. He keeps me entertained, and I love it. We talk about so much, it's incredible we get through a day of work. I mean...there were about five of us working the floor today, and Bradley and I spent most of our time in the abck stockroom talking about controversial issues and about this and about that. *Good times* Gotta love that Bradley.
voices in my head.

Thursday, September 11th, 2003

Subject:LOL...
Time:1:39 pm.
Mood: blah.


Are you Addicted to the Internet?

78%


Hardcore Junkie (61% - 80%)
While you do get a bit of sleep every night and sometimes leave the house, you spend as much time as you can online. You usually have a browser, chat clients, server consoles, and your email on auto check open at all times. Phone? What's that? You plan your social events by contacting your friends online. Just be careful you don't get a repetitive wrist injury...




The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Stvlive.com!



voices in my head.

Sunday, August 31st, 2003

Subject:Annoyed...really, really annoyed.
Time:12:59 am.
Mood: confused.
Ok, so I'm sitting here in bed...when my boyfriend (whom i fucking live with) answers his cell phone. Of course, I have no idea who it is at first, but I know it's a girl because his volume is so high that I can hear her voice. I wonder for a moment. I know she asks who I am because she hears me in the background. "It's Fran," Jeremy continues to explain...but it doesn't seem like he really wanted to say it. I'm left with just two options. Is it Jenna? Is it Erin? Who the fuck is it? I hear the word "Sam Goody" (where Jenna happens to work at) and I know right then that it's her. What do I do? Should I be obnoxcious like I normally am? Be extra loud? God, I wouldn't want to stoop that low to immaturity. LOL ... yeah, this coming from me is funny.

So, they talk...they talk some more. This is where my ranting comes in. Dammit to hell. I will never win. Why? Due to the excessive shit I pulled on Jeremy in the passed year of our relationship, it doesn't matter what he does anymore. For instance...if everything I pulled on him were a crime, then for every crime he commits would sentence me to Death Row. Does that even make sense? I'm sure all of you who are reading this, probably think I have gone nuts. Maybe so. I don't even know anymore. He has every right to be talking to her. Why the hell not anyhow? I can't tell him I don't like it because then I will get kicked in the ass for everything I pulled, so I'm left to sit here, smile, take it up the ass, and pretend to be okay with it.

But is it really okay? Should I really just let it go because it's not that big of a deal? Seriously! It drives me insane. I know that he probably thinks that he has every right to be talking to her (which he sure as hell does) because it doesn't matter how Fran feels. Fran is the stupid little whore, who doesn't deserve fairness just because of the many (yes, I stress 'many' because I'm sure Jeremy himself would shoot back with the big ditty that "Fran, it wasn't just one thing, it was many...") things I did to him that hurt him. Hey, maybe I should just sit back, relax, take it up the ass, and pretend to be okay with it. Why? Because I'm supposed to. Fran is supposed to do just those things because she deserves it all...just for everything she has done. Wow, what fairness...I love that. Love the way things work in this relationship. But hey, I'm just supposed to sit here and be okay with it. So as I sit here -- and yes, you guessed it, take it up the ass -- I'm just going to smile and be "okay" with it.

*sighs*

And this is why Fran isn't allowed to speak her mind, speak about how she feels...hence the reason why I choose to rant about in my silly online journal. PFFTTTT!

Life sucks. Especially, when you feel like your paying consequences to past mistakes. Woo hoo for Fran. I should get started since it might take a while to pay back all the shit I have done, right? I'll be bending over in a few moments...and you know what comes after this part. If you don't, then you're an absolute moron.

*sighs*
3 tell me to kill - voices in my head.

Friday, August 15th, 2003

Subject:GRRRR
Time:8:05 pm.
Mood: annoyed.
Ok, I'm really pissed off. Honestly...I have had enough with my mom's sister-in-law, Maridy. It always fucking changes with her family. I know for a fact that since day one, when we had met (my aunt, cousin and I)...I knew my aunt was a conniving, manipulative, selfish and rude woman. God, the stories I could tell right now. PFFFT Seriously! My sister called me just now to tell me that when she and my mother went over to visit them at their apartment, our cousin Stanley was at their place and yold them that my aunt and cousins were at HIS place. So...mom called my aun'ts cell and as usual, she ignored her call. With that, my mother called them, using Richelle's cell phone. Sure enough, my aunt picks up and insists they come over. My mom and my sister get there in the next 2 minutes after the call was made (Richelle's apartment is in the same complex as theirs). What happens? THEY FUCKING LEFT WITHOUT TELLING MY MOM. The little bitch decided to leave after telling my mother and my sister to come over. What a crock of shit. I HATE THAT FAMILY. I don't give a rat's ass anymore if my aunt tries to be motherly to me. The only reason why she feeds off her "love and care" is so she can laugh at me with her high-class family and friends after having discussed my private life with them. GRRRRR If murder were legal, they would be my first target.
2 tell me to kill - voices in my head.

Sunday, August 3rd, 2003

Subject:Excitement...
Time:9:05 pm.
Mood: relaxed.
God, what a tiresome weekend. Did some shopping and ran some errands with grannie and sis today. Tomorrow morning, my mother and I will be heading to the Sacramento airport to pick up my two cousins and my uncle, who are flying in from WA. I'm really stoked. This will be the week that we will be having boodles of fun. And well...school starts five days after they return to Seattle, so I gotta enjoy what's left of my summer. I have a few things that needs to be taken care of tomorrow -- 1)Check website for my jury duty instructions 2)Register for my fall courses at CCSF online 3)Make sure the house is cleaned for our company. WEEEEEE I'm excited. I really want to take my cousin Pumkin to a concert, while she's here. She needs to experience some true excitement for once. Gonna relax for a bit now....
3 tell me to kill - voices in my head.

Thursday, July 31st, 2003

Subject:HEEEE-LARIOUS...
Time:7:28 pm.
Mood: amused.
And all this time I thought my cousins were just dreaming...

white
You are the sort of whitewashed Asian girl. You're
pretty neutral about things and appreciative of
your heritage, but no way in hell will you ever
join a club for it. And yes the guys who work
at Abercrombie ARE pretty hot!


What Kind of Asian Girl Stereotype Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
voices in my head.

Tuesday, July 29th, 2003

Time:9:17 am.
Mood: awake.
Jeremy came down late last night. I got up around 7am, hopped in the shower, and here I am 2 hours later. He and I are heading back to San Bruno, where I plan to spend the next three days. I start my little adventure into San Francisco today...alone. Jeremy's working today; hopefully his roommate(s) will accompany me. Either way, I'm all good. I just need to figure out the time it takes to take the BART to and from his place to CCSF. I take my assessment test this Thursday, which sucks major ass. It's times like these that make me wish I was going back to DU in the fall rather than transfer. Then, a second thought reminds me why I'm not returning to that shithole.

Jeremy's asleep downstairs -- tried waking his ass up just now. No luck. Perhaps the aroma of grannie's spaghetti will wake him up, since he loves it so much. I'm kinda excited about venturing into San Francisco today. I've been there so many times but never alone. Ok, stomach is growling, asking for food, so I'm off to the kitchen...
voices in my head.

Monday, July 28th, 2003

Time:3:57 pm.
Mood: annoyed.
I didn't go to bed until 5 am again this morning. That's what I get for staying up all night -- in front of the computer. What else is new? I guess I'm going to San Bruno tomorrow to stay with Jeremy at his place for a few days. Things seem to be patching up and going back to normal with him. I'm just irritated that it just keeps going around in circles. Dammit, I hate that shit. GRRRRRRR

I wasn't able to go to my gf's apartment yesterday. Richelle called up to tell me that her parents were there and this and that, so she couldn't pick me up. Blah There will be another day, I suppose. Summer vacation is almost over and my adventure through another year of college awaits for me. YAY FOR ME! *sigh* So far, I'm still looking for a job. God, I didn't realize how difficult it is nowadays. Grr to that, I say. I'm also looking into that house in San Francisco that has a room available. It would be nice to finally get out of this hell hole I'm in right now. We'll see what happens.

On a happier note: Lollapalooza is almost here. I'm going to that in August. Metallica, Linkin Park, and Deftones are gonna be in town too in mid-August. WOO HOO for more shows. It seems to be the one thing to keep my spirits up in shitty times like these. Grannie needs to figure out another way of 'keeping me away from the world.' This whole 'you-live-under-my-roof-deal' is getting kinda old, and well...it's time I moved out before my 30th birthday comes by and I have realized that I can't do anything for myself because my grandmother kept me locked up in her own prison. PSSH to that...
voices in my head.

Subject:Funny...
Time:2:30 pm.
Mood: amused.
Daria
daria- disaffected, brainy and distant, you don't
let on that you really do care- sort of.


Which Daria Character are You? (updated)
brought to you by Quizilla
voices in my head.

Friday, July 25th, 2003

Subject:Weeeee....
Time:5:29 am.
Mood: awake.
WOW I must really be pathetic. Either that or I really have some kind of sleep issue growing. It's 5am, and I haven't slept one wink at all. Then again, it has been in opinon, that sleep is overrated. What can possibly get accomplished anyhow? *sigh* I'm calling CCSF again tomorrow to finally get that stupid testing date in order. I finally talked to Jeremy late last night. Nothing got accomplished, as usual, but I did manage to get his new cell number, which is now local. He's off Wednesday and Thursday next week. I'm shooting for getting a test date early Thursday morning, since that's their next available time anyhow. Wow, I should sleep. It's weird. I can go for hours without sleep. Up all night and then up again, when morning comes. When I came home from our little outing yesterday, I passed out on my bed at around 7:00. I didn't get up until 10:30. Could be a sign of lack of sleep. Ah, well. It's off to bed for me now, I suppose. FORCED sleep never hurts.
voices in my head.

Subject:Biggie...
Time:12:50 am.
Mood: blank.
Thanks to my good friend, Biggie (aka Julia) -- she found me this:



Thanks, Biggie!
voices in my head.

Thursday, July 24th, 2003

Subject:Wow, another one of those...
Time:6:35 pm.
Mood: blank.
What magazine am I?

I am Skin & Ink: If you are one of those freaks who thinks that having a body full of tatoos is obsessive then you had better get the hell out my way. I've got 4 square inches of blank skin that need to be taken care of.

What magazine am I?
voices in my head.

Subject:GRRR
Time:1:36 am.
Mood: annoyed.
My red flag is up, my head is spinning, my stomach is about to explode, and I feel like absolute shit. It's just another one of those bad months. Anyway, Jeremy and I haven't had a decent conversation in the last two days. I'm not sure, when things will be back to normal. *sigh* Life is shitty. We were supposed to go the beach tomorrow, but I don't see that happening. I really need to get out of this hell hole I call home. It's not for me. I need to get a job already. I went to Chili's and well...I should have turned my application in, when I first got it, which was back in May. They aren't hiring again until mid-August, so says the manager, who kept my application and told me to come back in August. Dillard's never called me back, and well, I called several places that aren't hiring either. One place, though, is. When I called Hollywood Video yesterday afternoon, the guy sounded ecstatic, when I asked if they were hiring. "Why, yes, we sure are," he stressed. The only thing that sucks about that place -- is it takes between 30n and 45 minutes just too ELECTRONICALLY fill out an application. BLAH on that. I didn't want to waste my time, so I'll go back, hopefully, tomorrow. I'm so desparate right now. I called CCSF and found out they're booked for the meantime, and the next available date is next Thursday for assessment testing. GRRR I wish I was in the bay area right now...away from here. Away from this shithole...
voices in my head.

Wednesday, July 23rd, 2003

Subject:Help...
Time:11:44 am.
Mood: frustrated.
Help.

I need Help...

I need it now!!
voices in my head.

Tuesday, July 22nd, 2003

Subject:relationships...
Time:2:25 am.
Mood: pissed off.
I have been thinking. If I had not done so much shit to Jeremy in the past, cheating on him, lying to him ALL the time, he would have no reason to act like this. If he did this shit and had no reason, then there is no point of being in a relationship. I need to start thinking before I do things if I really want this relationship to work. I really wonder what I would do without Jeremy, I know he doesn't want to be without me...
voices in my head.

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